Teenage Anxiety in Queer Teens and Youth: Chelsea Shares Their Story
Teenage Anxiety in Queer Teens and Youth: Chelsea Shares Their Story
WRITTEN BY CHELSEA BLEAU
Last year, I attended one of our parent support groups with Their Collective, and I was so grateful for the opportunity to share my school experience with parents who needed to hear that they are doing a great job by consistently supporting their kids.
I was bullied really badly in elementary and junior high. It was relentless. The constant stress contributed to my generalized anxiety disorder developing so severely that, by the time I hit grade 8, my attendance had already taken a major hit. By grade 9, I was having anxiety attacks every single morning. In grade 10, I was diagnosed with agoraphobia. By grade 11, my attendance had dropped to less than half, and at the beginning of grade 12, I dropped out entirely.
Being in a classroom with other people genuinely stressed me out so much that I turned to alcohol and drugs as a teenager just to cope. I could go to parties and socialize because I had something to numb me. It was either that or experience severe loneliness, which was always coupled with thoughts of harming myself.
But here’s the part I’m really happy to share: In my assessment in 2020, I was found to be in remission for generalized anxiety disorder, and my diagnosis changed to panic disorder. I’ve gone from having anxiety attacks daily to weekly, then monthly, and in this past year, I’ve only had a few.
My anxiety attacks were so severe that I would either start screaming like I was in pain or, more commonly, I would go completely catatonic—just a thousand-yard stare, unable to speak. People have asked me if I was having a seizure. One of my biggest fears is that someone will call 911 when I’m in the middle of an attack because I wouldn’t be able to explain what’s happening.
I still avoid grocery stores and certain places that I know can randomly trigger an attack, but when I do muster up the courage to leave my house alone, I’m almost always perfectly fine. That’s a big deal for me.
The Importance of Coping Tools
Over the years, I’ve found ways to manage my anxiety and calm my nervous system in ways that truly work for me. Everyone’s journey is different, but I want to share some of the things that have helped me along the way.
One of the most effective ways I’ve learned to regulate my nervous system is through sound—humming, singing, and listening to calming frequencies like binaural beats. I love singing, and I do it often—especially in the car or while editing photos in my office. Singing has a direct impact on the vagus nerve, which plays a key role in regulating stress and anxiety. Even just humming can help shift the nervous system into a calmer state.
Meditation has also been a daily practice for me. It helps me stay grounded and reduces the intensity of my anxiety. I incorporate different elements into my meditation routine, including incense, tarot cards, and soft music, which help create a soothing atmosphere. Tarot cards, for me, are not about predicting the future but rather a reflective tool that helps me process emotions and focus my thoughts.
Breathwork has been another game-changer. Deep, controlled breathing—like box breathing or 4-7-8 breathing—has been incredibly helpful in slowing my heart rate and bringing me back to the present moment when I feel anxiety creeping in.
Finding ways to connect with my body and surroundings has been essential. Sometimes, it’s as simple as lighting a favourite candle, wrapping myself in a cozy blanket, or stepping outside for a few deep breaths of fresh air. Small things can make a big difference.
The Power of Support
Anxiety, depression, and loneliness affect youth in different ways. Some kids lash out. Some retreat inward. Some find ways to cope that aren’t healthy. But what makes the biggest difference? Having parents, guardians, or even just one adult in their life who truly believes them and fights for them.
Just one person saying, I hear you. I see you. I believe you. That alone can change the course of someone’s life. Because when the alternative is having everyone around you assume you’re lying, exaggerating, or being dramatic for attention, it can feel like you’re drowning with no way out.
So parents, keep loving your kids. Keep showing up for them. Keep believing them. Even when it’s hard. Even when you don’t fully understand. Because I promise you, one day, they’ll be able to tell you just how grateful they are for it. 💖
Chelsea Bleau
